Come Ride With Me

photo by Chris Schultz

Good Evening

I just experienced the most incredible wave of emotions ranging from completely euphoric crashing all the way into tears.  It was so profound that I would like to share my thoughts and take you along for the ride.  That is if you can handle it?  I hold nothing back and in my experiences, the truth is something most can’t handle.

Lately it seems as if every obstacle has gotten me closer to where I envision myself going.  It’s a feeling hard to describe because nothing in my life is going as planned.  The alternate route’s I’m embarking upon are so much better. The craziest part is they were not my immediate plans, but instead outcomes of ideas forgotten.  Seeds are sprouting all over the place that I once planted and subconsciously continued to water.

This particular afternoon sprouts were busting through and flowers were blooming.  Messages dinging left and right, one after another all positive and all aligned with my intentions.

Chelsea says she’s excited I’ve found a mentor to direct my scattered energy and wants to meet him.  She follows with “It might be too small time here for him, no?”

I told her that’s exactly what he’s going to like about it.  I can’t wait to get back on the rock and recharge my soul with all the small time positive vibes.

She afterwards goes, “Ya men love anything we love lol” and it hits me.  They do and I respond with why.  “Because we are just being ourselves and that is rare and authentic…they want that, men crave that and not too many women know how to be just themselves.”

This statement goes both ways as well.

In the beginning of a relationship people create a false them.  They feel they need to act or be a certain way for that particular person to like them.  When you’re tired of the act, you begin to resent that person for not liking you for you. When in reality, if you would have been yourself from the beginning, that person would have saw the real you. Then you two would have had a mutual understanding on whether there was a connection or not.  Also in being yourself you are allowing that perfect person who is going to like you for you to come into your life, instead of missing an opportunity for greatness by wasting time living a lie. And being unhappy in the process.

When two like souls come together. Two beings who are authentic within themselves.  Eternal self love radiates into love energy.  A bond is created that can withstand any obstacle.  That is a twin flame connection.  Not soulmates, but like souls.  Two of the same soul.

You’ll have many soul mates along your path, but when the lesson is learned, you should part ways in peace.

So to answer the timeless question

“Why can I never find the right person?”
Because…..You have to find out who YOU are FIRST

Then you have to fall  in love with yourself, only then can you find your perfect person, because every person you meet until then is meeting your portrayal of yourself!

In discovering myself, I’ve learned I have two extremes.

My spiritual side is one; and I want to help people.  Everyone is equal to me and I want to save humanity.  That’s a big statement for such a small person.  I know this.  I’m well aware and I also don’t care.

That’s my other extreme.  I don’t care.  I don’t care about the norm.  I don’t care what society thinks. I love smashing stereotypes. I’m not trying to prove myself to anyone.  I just like what I like.  I want to live a happy, healthy and free life.

Yes I do reference my sexual expression when I say free.  I want to be free in all senses, but sexuality is something that I’m very passionate about.  The sex industry, which I’m about to elaborate on, is one of the most beneficial and under appreciated industries in our society.

Recently my mentor asked me to pick a direction to focus on so I can begin to attract the appropriate target audience.  See my stripper books and dancing require a specific image.  Yet my yoga and my spirituality and the self love image I want to show the world requires a more wholesome approach.

My answer

“I’m going to do it all…..and I’m going to be me…..and not change anything about myself”

His eyebrows raise and his smile shows me he likes my determination.  He also is a professional at building careers and has seen how image can make or break a deal.

Here’s the thing, I don’t want it unless It’s me I’m selling.

Remember that statement about the sex industry?

Here’s the very core of what is wrong with our society.  From the beginning we are programmed to believe that anything that feels good is wrong and those who indulge are bad.

I love being a dancer.  Not for the 90% of disrespectful encounters.

5% The girls….I’ve met some of the most amazingly intelligent, creative, humble, artistic, loving, worldly vixens who choose to embrace their sexuality.  Own their beauty, make good money and live happy lives in doing so.

5% The guys….I’ve also met some of the most kind, loving, caring, genuine, souls who are sad, lonely, in need of companionship.  They seek solitude inside a gentlemen’s club because in there, there’s no judgement.

Sexuality is embraced.  A woman can feel good about herself.  A man can enjoy her beauty.  It is natural law.

We all crave the same thing……*connections*

Here’s where the judgement comes in and the sadness crashes my wave.

Average society will indulge, but not respect.

A man will date a girl who dances and call her a whore to his friends.  The only reason she’s a whore is because she’s living a lie.  She’s trapped in a false reality where you like her and she’s doing everything to show you how much she likes you. Deep down inside you like it, that’s why you keep coming back.  You just don’t want anyone else to know you like it.  There’s that programming again.

Hindering your own happiness

Do you know what we all have in common?  Every single human, even children use this one natural pleasure to relive stress and discomfort.

Do you know what that is?

It’s sex……SEXUAL PLEASURE

Even kids dry hump their toys. It just feels good and it’s not wrong.

Whether it’s masterbation, making love to your partner, fucking your whore, licking your lesbian lover, taking turns with your boyfriend on whose turn it is to catch and receive ….unless you have a celibate vow to GOD, when you can’t think, you fuck.

BUT

Etched into your cerebral is the feeling of guilt.  Since what feels good is wrong, we can do it, but we shouldn’t be proud of it.  We shouldn’t flaunt it.  I get hate messages all the time from men who think I flaunt my sexuality.  I’m just expressing what I love and following my passions. They add me because they obviously see something they like. When they don’t get the response they expect, they feel rejection.  That rejection causes ego to lash out in a form of self defense.  When, if you loved yourself, you wouldn’t care if I had your attention or not because you’d know your worth. You’d want ONLY the one who saw that worth.

You would respect me for me and I’d respect you for you.

It’s normal to see something beautiful and respect it without having it. That desire to take is where your suffering lies.

When people feel guilty they pass judgements on the ones who are living the way they wish they could live.

The reality is those people are sad.  They long to be happy.  So many people spend so much time and money on the pursuit of happiness

It’s so easy.  Just be yourself.  It’s so easy that people can’t do it.  That makes me sad.

I wish I could show people how simple it is to just love yourself.

I’m so overwhelmed with melancholy thinking about all the people who suffer because they just can’t put their fears aside and live the life their heart desires.

The biggest compliment I have ever received from anyone was a man I met two years ago.  I forgot his name or where we met.  He was so intrigued by the depth of our conversation,  he then told me that I remind him of the girl from the movie, The Fifth Element.

I was so excited he said that.  Confused by the smile in my eyes, he wanted to know why I took it as a compliment.  What he meant was, I am different that anyone he’s met.  Then I told him my interpretation.

🙂

The Fifth Element represents love…….Earth, Air, Wind, Fire and LOVE.  If I can BE love, than my life is complete ❤