How Unschooling Works For My Family

The questions never seem to stop theses days.  The more people I meet the more I’m asked to elaborate.  Unschooling for example.  I hear, “you homeschool, how do you do it?”  “where do you find the time?”  It’s actually the opposite.  Once you find your families rhythm it all flows together.

No day is the same.  Schedules seem to never go as planned and some ideas never become anything more than just an idea. I have an ideal outline of how I’d like my days to go.  Like I said it’s an outline.  Life doesn’t go as planned so neither should learning. Because what is learning?  It’s life training.  So you shouldn’t train yourself for an unrealistic life. You should prepare yourself to roll with the punches and expect the unexpected. That way you’re not setting your children up for a life of popping Adderall and Klonopins because “life is so hard”

😦

Lately Kristen and I have joined forces in cracking down on a few habits my children have picked up.  Gabe has became lazy and Andrew’s selective hearing makes me want to pick him up by his ankles and shake him until his ears unclog.

After reflecting on the past weekend and all the people I’ve met lately, I’ve decided to walk you through my day.

I woke up the first time downstairs on the living room floor because we had a family movie night last night.  This was around 3 am.  I moved over to the couch with a blanket.  The boys are in the guest room and I’m making it a point to not sleep with them.  They need to detach.  Traveling means we spend a lot of time in hotel rooms and it’s causing them to be too attached to sleeping with me.

Kristen fell asleep downstairs too and I wake up to her walking up the stairs to use the restroom.  I open my eyes and clear my notifications on my phone.  I see it’s at 2% so I get up to hunt down a charger.  I’m still tired and groggy so I lay on the upstairs bed while I watch the boys come in and out.  Taking turns showering and brushing their teeth while talking to me about whatever was on their mind.  They now have morning duties that have to be finished  in order to have free time before 10 am. 10 am lessons start.  Lessons can be anything from written work to taking a nature trail.  Part of morning duty is breakfast.  The boys are responsible for their own breakfast.  They also need to clean up whatever mess is made in the process. Today Andrew wants to make eggs.  He goes around the house and takes orders.  I’m still laying in the upstairs guest bed and staring at the ceiling thinking about how much laundry I need to do.

And what only felt like seconds later both boys are in front of me arguing about eggs.  Andrews pouting and Gabe looks defensive.

Ok, Andrew first what’s your problem, I say

” I was trying to make eggs and I’ve never made them by myself before and Gabe got mad and said let me do it.  Now I don’t get to make eggs.”

Gabe, is this true

“Mom, he didn’t even turn the stove on and he had the wrong pan”

A few questions more and I’m the only one who ate the eggs that Gabe made because both boys now weren’t hungry.

I shower, get dressed, check my emails and messages and come downstairs.  I want to go tanning and before I go Kristen and I make a shopping list. I write eggs on the list and then it hits me…todays assignment.

At this time all four kids, mine and Kristen’s, are play sword fighting in the front room. I get everyone’s attention and have the boys grab their composition books, laptops and a pencil.  Then I found it…A cooking website.

7 Different ways to Cook Eggs

1 through 7 describes the dish and how to prepare it.

I told the boys I want them to copy the entire page as their assignment today. Copy it and learn it.  Together as a family we’ll read and study the paragraphs.  Then we can go into the kitchen this week and have labs learning the processes for each recipe.

Reading, writing, science, fractions and measurements.  Listening and following directions along with self learning all are part of the assignment.  As a final exam I’ll have them choose one method of making eggs and prepare a dish of their choice.

I get the kids started on the copying and grab Kristen’s keys.  First stop is the tanning bed.  Feeling bronzed and full of warmth I head to Tim Horton’s for a coffee.  The coffee hits my lips and finally I have what my day was lacking.  My drug of choice 🙂 With a list that I’m sure not to stick to I head to the grocery store.

I’m in the produce section when a man in a wheelchair cart stops me.  He asks me if he can have a few minutes of my time.  The sweet old man was Italian, in his late 70s and widowed.  He tells me that one day a man is going to fall madly in love with me and that I’m supposed to allow it.  I give him a hug and say that as long as he loves me for the right reasons.  He squeezes me back and says that he was supposed to run into me today to give me this message.  I believe him because running into him made me smile and I even felt like I could cry.  Not from being sad, just tears of conformation.

A few more errands and I’m back at the house.  I have all four kids unload the groceries and I begin to put things away.  Kristen has already started dinner in the crock pot and now it’s time to skate.  All kids and myself get our skates on and go outside.

Gabe decides to get a hammer out of the basement to find crystals inside rocks.  He goes in his skates…slides down the stairs and ends up hammering his rocks with a frozen bag of strawberries on his leg because he bruised his shin.

Dinner’s ready and we all come in.  We work together to clean the kitchen and then the boys are back to their egg assignment.

Kristen’s now in the basement organizing her gym and lady cave.  The music is bumping and we take a dance party, workout break.  The kids do the whip and cha cha and then we march back up the stairs to finish the writing assignment.

I don’t know how long we’ll stay up.  I’ve poured a glass of wine so I can work on my book after I finish this article.  My rental car is booked for the weekend and I need to look at flights for Myrtle Beach.  The boys will write until I can tell they’ve lost interest.  I don’t force them to do busy work. They won’t retain anything they are just doing because it needs to get done.  When they loose interest I’ll have them wrap it up for the night and begin to wind down.  I’ve planned to start the Four Agreements as family reading, but that might happen tomorrow.

The boys have evening duties that need to get finished. Depending on how efficient they get them done determines how much free time they have.

That was today.  Tomorrow will be different and every other day after that will not be the same.  As long as learning is fun and i’m raising good people, I’m a happy mom.

So there’s an example of a day as an Unschooling family. We’re not always organized, we don’t learn by the book.  We are happy, we do spend a lot of  time bonding as a family.  We cook together, we clean together and we learn together.  I’m an active part of my children’s growth and I still have my own time to be an adult.

Instead of trying to get everything done as a parent I’ve learned to do everything together and then we all appreciate our free time. Today, laundry isn’t getting done and that’s ok.

This is what works for me and my kids.  This is what works for our family.  I can work until 4 am and sleep in if I need to.  My boys know how to make their own breakfast and I can not worry about missing out on needed sleep.  I wake up refreshed and if I’m lucky I’ll have eggs benedict waiting for me

🙂

Faith, Manifestations and Foundation

We arrived at Kristen’s house in Buffalo, New York almost midnight after driving all day from Manhattan. Her last-minute, spontaneous vacation to the “Big Apple” was in fact a rescue mission!

I called her to come pick me and my boys up. She lives 6 hours from the city and I needed to leave where I was and she didn’t hesitate.

Because our friendship has stood the tests of time, we have come to a place where we are 100%, for better or worse, richer or poorer, till death do us part type of friends. We’ve  gone through so much together. We have fought, not talked for years, hated each other, loved each other, saved each other and learned life lessons for almost 20 years. The whole time, crying, laughing, hurting, growing, and building a lasting friendship on a solid foundation of trust.

She is a true friend!

 She came to get me the very next day, with no questions asked, we had some bumps along the way, it wasn’t a flawless rescue mission, but we made the best out of it

Not only did I have Kristen willing to help, I also had Chelsea!  The same day I called her, for the same reason…I wanted advice, yes that was my initial rescue….I needed advice and I wanted an honest answer from someone who knows me! From someone who loves me for me! Advice from someone who only wants the best for me.  Someone who will give it to me straight whether I like it or not. Both girls saw why I was upset, they had their own points as to why, but both girls also agreed that I was in a negative situation and the beginning of what could have been a toxic friendship. Both girls said I should leave and they said they’d do whatever to help. Not only these girls but I asked a few other people I trust for the same advice and got the same answer before I acted on my instinct.

I chose not to stay with a jealous, pretend friend with a manipulative personality who was a self admitting pathological liar!

I needed to talk to someone who would keep it real….so I called my people.

And they kept it real

Very real

All with the same conclusion

I needed to get away

Away from where I was.

They also agreed that I do need to find my balance. My friends had valid concerns that needed my immediate addressing. See the person I was staying with, was not who I thought she was.  She expressed concerns from who own projections, her the delivery was malicious. My friends were both willing to stop their lives in order to eradicate the problem. They are true friends. I love my friends and I will listen to my girls because they know who I am.

6 hours plus stops driving to  Buffalo from Manhattan, Kristen wanted to know after all of our talking, explaining, debating, and bonding…..she asked me sitting in her bed discussing what I want to do with my life,  after all the kids were put to bed, she wanted me to explain what I mean when I say, “I just know.”

It’s my answer to everything.

“I just know ” I say

I get defensive when someone challenges my ways of thinking

I just know that  I’m on my path!  I don’t want to explain because I just have faith!

Not faith like God will do it, and heaven and hell faith.

faith in myself.

faith that I can do whatever I set out to accomplish.

Faith that I don’t have to know what’s next.

I can only relate to people  on my level, and when I say on my level…I’m referring to the positive energy that I put out and intend to receive. This person I left behind in New York was not on my level.  She’s angry and she only cares about becoming rich and famous.  She said so herself and doesn’t care who she steps on the way up to the top. If someone is not on a positive, be a better version of yourself level, then I don’t want to allow them to bring me down. I can’t relate to negativity!

Negativity turns dark too quickly because I’ve found comfort in the darkness before.  I need to take myself to my happy place. I’m working on getting to the root of the negativity in order to continue living in my bliss.

it’s a never-ending cycle……but if you learn from the negativity…….you come out stronger, wiser and happier

Some people may have good intentions with the wrong delivery.  Let them offend you!  Take what you got mad at, take the point you want to defend and reflect. When someone pushes your buttons, remember your reaction is a projection. Talk yourself through the thought process, you’ll realize that you are defending your own actions and standing in your own way to success. You do still need to remove yourself from the negative person, but go away with a lesson.  Take what they said that hurt your feelings and let it make you a better person…not for them,for you!

I spent years watching “The Secret”. I’d watch once a month for mental reinforcements, studying positive thinking patterns, and how to live your life in a way that you are living  your own personal happiness. I also spent years learning “The Hustle”

All the sadness I’ve felt loving someone who didn’t love me

All the heart breaks I’ve had trusting people who take that trust and use it for personal gain.

All the hearts I’ve broken learning what I don’t want and won’t accept.

I’ve learned not to settle for crying yourself to sleep every single night because it’s comfortable.

Never again will I live not liking my life but accepting it for stability.

You have to take the good and the bad.

My marriage fell apart, but I found yoga. I learned from yoga and now it keeps me balanced. Heartbreak lead me to  spirituality and because I have my spirituality, I can keep myself grounded. Because I’m grounded, I’m not going to let a dark industry steal my luster. An industry that will chew you up and spit you out a hardened empty soul; an empty shell who is either afraid to love and uses sex to fill the void. Or worse, so thirsty for love that they allow the most disrespectful pieces of shit into their lives just to feel a false sense of love because they don’t love themselves. I will not be that girl.

Everything that’s happened was all part of a lesson I needed to learn. I was supposed to have the experiences I had to have in order for my growth. I need to experience what I don’t want in life in order to know what I do want.  I had to try new and different things. To know what doesn’t work for me, I had to take chances!

From the moment I had the realization and knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life, every single thing I do, every single person I meet, every single experience I have has gotten me one step closer!

Kristen says I don’t want a man because the industry has hardened me,. She says I’m making money and I feel I don’t need a man. That’s not the case. I say no!  In fact it’s the opposite.

I’m happy.

I’m 100% confident! This confidence came from finding my purpose.

I want to help people!

Whether they are guys coming to a club just for companionship or whether they are girls who see that you can be a clean dancer. You can have self-respect and make money without selling your body. You can have your cake and eat it too and there’s nothing wrong with being a strong, openly sexual person.  And there’s nothing wrong with wanting a man who fits everything you would desire in a partner or not having one at all.

It’s called living to your full potential! I want to live to my full potential.

Only the guy who’s completely suitable for the life I want to live will do! Everyone else will only cause  me to stray from my path and lose my focus. If they feel right and turn out not to be right, they were there for a purpose….for my growth and I was there for their growth….. Accepting that is the difference between a bad breakup and a lasting friendship.

It’s not a confidence that comes from the industry motivating me. I’ve had that kind of confidence before.   When I was a young twenty something stripper who made a 1000 a night without  blinking an eye, I was confident. It’s not that confidence,  that confidence comes from ego. There’s this”I’m the shit and you owe me because I’m the shit” ego, that comes from the industry. My dear friend Kristen is afraid I’m getting that ego. It’s not the same as the confidence I have now. I can’t explain it, I just know.

 I’ve found my balance.  My spirituality keeps me humble.

Humility crushes ego.

I embrace my job because I love my work.  When you love what you do, you’re not working. I’m making easy money because I’ve intended the life I want to live. I’m living with faith and allowing the Universe to provide for me.

This kind of confidence is one I’ve never had before. This is all new and I never had it until the moment I knew what I wanted to do. The moment I found my faith.

I want to turn the darkness to light.

When you know what you want to do with your life it gives you a natural sense of confidence because you can see the outcome.  You already see it and you are already living it. Everyday your manifestations are manifesting.  You have to allow the receiving to happen. That’s the faith and if you want the science behind it, The power of intention is a real science.

like attracts like.

negative brings negative.

And good deeds bring more good things.

At this point in my life I need structure in order for all the pieces to come into place.  I’m at that pivotal point where I see my dreams and the steps I need to take are right in front of me.  I’m a Taurus, we are lazy by nature and love comfort. Right now I’m bitten by the travel bug and my comforts come from resorts and hotels. My life needs structure. I see two paths in front of me. One where I can fall into my comforts and plateau, another where I can regroup, call in reinforcements and find my balance. Only then when I hit the road, I hit it with a solid foundation.

I want to forever be a traveler. It is a passion!

I do eventually want roots one day and I’ll only know where that will be when I have arrived.

Tonight, I realized I’m already living both my wants. I have a strong community of an extended traveling family.

Community and Travel

I have a community in Buffalo with Kristen’s family. The boys will bond with her kids. They’ll make memories and form relationships that will grow as they grow. Then they’ll go to Newfoundland and Chelsea’s community will become part of their community. We also have communities in Florida like my lifelong friends and family in Orlando and my sister and her community in Deerfield.  I have my family in Michigan and  I have my yoga community. The Ashtanga Yoga community in itself is a never-ending opportunity to build a life long friendships

So my kids are already getting what I was afraid they are loosing, and all I have to do is implement it.

The people in my life are people who share the same drive for living a drama free positive life. I have a support system with the common goal of becoming a better person.

My children need structure…..I needed a reality check!

I got my feelings hurt and the suggestions were not suitable for my life. Only because my support system is as strong as it is, I was able to figure out exactly what I was lacking. I  finally know what I need to do in order to follow through with my plans successfully. I know what I have to do for the benefit of myself and for my children. Thanks to my friends, my foundation, and my sisterhood, thanks to  these amazing girls, I now know what I need to do.

My first Ashtanga teacher Krista taught me, “strength comes from consistency”

I need consistency where my weaknesses are and with that consistency I will build the strength to succeed. In doing so, I’m setting the appropriate patterns for my children’s benefit.

It’s hard to be a single parent.

In order to stay sane, you must have support.

When you love yourself and you choose not to settle, you learn who to trust. Your gut will guide you, it’s called intuition. When you surround yourself with positive people, you form a system of support unlike no other.

Kristen is helping me with structure, but I’m helping her find peace. We help each other.

So tonight she wanted to know after a very long discussion, “why am I explaining myself to her when I already know what I want to do?”

She said “just do it”

After leaving her room for the night my instant reaction was I got mad and wanted to defend my defensiveness. Then I  thought about it and I walked back down the hall, knocked on her door, peaked my head in and said. “You have to listen to me!!!”  “You’re part of this….this shit I come up with when we talk is the shit I need to write down.”  “I’m writing my book right now while talking to you, we just covered chapters in one conversation”   “This was supposed to happen”

We need each other

We both had life changing, self realizations in that conversation. Realizations that inspired us both to compromise. To help each other find a balance.  The balance will benefit our kids and their futures, yet at the same time, make our lives a little bit less effortless.

The most important thing I’ve learned is to not let negative people into your circle.  Don’t tell them your secrets.  Especially one’s who claim to be pathological liars.

And we get to build some memories along the way.

She laughed and said, “All right I’ll help you” lol “I want to help you!” “Now Goodnight!”

🙂

Just Keep Swimming

It’s a cold and rainy afternoon and I’m still in my sweatpants.  Chelsea is cooking a Turkey “Thanksgiving style” dinner to enjoy before we all go our separate ways again.  I’m in the middle of a messenger debate with someone I care about deeply, but we don’t share a common perspective.. I’m in a particular mood and reflecting over the past month.  So many emotions in such a short time.

I came to Newfoundland to have a month, kid free, obligation free, so I can buckle down and hustle hard without the normal distractions of life.  Financially, I did not succeed. I made money.  My bills are paid, my kids are fed and I live life to the fullest everyday,. In my head it played out differently.  I was coming back with stacks…lol

I’m too Dory

This is me saving ….go to work…just keep swimming, just keep swimming…oooh I’m doing good…just keep swimming….SQUIRREL..uhhhhhhhhhhhh ok…. I got this….just keep swimming…

It’s bad. I need an assistant or financial planner maybe

For over six months I’ve had this idea marinating.  I’ve found the perfect way to incorporate ALL of my passions in one.

Get an RV

I can travel when and where I want, while giving the boys some place to call home…Passion 1 travel

( I’m a Taurus….I need something to decorate)

I can support that by dancing everywhere I go…….embracing my wild side………… Passion 2

I will provide the coolest homeschooling environment for my children.  They are already getting an Unschooled, non traditional, life experience education…..passion 3 I want my boys to have life experience instead of classroom programming

Then, I write about the journey…..passion 4

Of course everywhere I go, pictures, pictures and more pictures sneaking in the occasional public nudity shot when the kids aren’t around;) …….passion 5

These are in no particular order as they are all just as equally important to me.

Sitting here thinking how I can accelerate this plan, the ideas are whirling around like a bingo balls, which one am I going to pop out.

Chelsea and I did a fun duo skit on duo night.  I wore a purple Dick Tracy hat, man’s pants from Salvation Army, purple suspenders and stilettos. No top just the straps covering my nipples.  She wore a black thong and bra, with fish net stockings and a purple boa.  We started our two song set with Jessica Rabbit’s seductive, “Why don’t you do right”. While I sat in a chair pretending to be a man and not get caught rubbing my cock…..she gave me a private dance.  Teasing me and the crowd.   Hat is off, Boa is on the floor, red lipstick on my neck, song two begins…..Ying Yang Twins, “Wait (the whisper song)….we advance to the pole, twerk a little bit…She un zips my trousers and out pops my strap on penis…….lol the girls in the club are howling they’re laughing so hard…..strategically she pulls it out when the words to the song are….”wait until you see my dick”….so I smack her around with it pretending to “beat the pussy up, beat the pussy up” for comedic purposes and everyone loved our show….

We should do this more often…that was so much fun

Maybe i’ll get more into private party shows. We did bachelor parties in Key West and had positive results.  absolutely no sex, don’t even ask me…I’m not a hooker…keep it in your pants……I’m an entertainer and I love it. I love stage, I enjoy being a professional fluffer. I like interacting with people and making them smile, and yes I’m tease…I want to turn you on……. When someone doesn’t enjoy my dance, I feel like I didn’t do my job……..

As I’m writing this, i’m going through my messages. I really want to thank all my readers.  Some of you are following me because my sexy Tinder pictures caught your attention. That was my initial purpose for Tinder and I didn’t realize how succesful it’s becoming. Social media fans have trippled. I’m getting inspirational messages from all over.  People who say that they felt my words as if I  was speaking to them and sometimes for them….. That is the biggest complement any writer could have. Or any artist at that……I’m reaching people, I’m motivating and inspiring people…that makes me happy..life is good

I’m going to continue luring you in with my body and then captivating you with my mind

For now, It’s Friday night, dinner and friends are waiting, and I have three nights left to get my hustle on

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming

🙂