Things Never Go As Planned

It’s Friday night, I had planned to go to Scores for the grand opening here in Tonawanda, NY but I’m just not feeling it.  Instead I’ve spent me time.  I did exactly what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it.

At this point in my evening I just want to chill.  I’m listening to 90s R&B on Google play and TLC’s,  Red Light Special is playing.  I can’t explain how perfect this song is for the room I’m staying in at Kristen’s house.  Her guest room is the red and black room. It has black walls.  Red satin curtains, a red tube light around the ceiling, a black and red comforter and black and red chaise lounge.  The decor is eclectic like the rest of her house and I’m so comfortable here because she’s the only other person in the world I know who decorates just like I do.  We’re both eccentrically eclectic, with bold pops of color and mixed themes that only go because we put them together and everyone wants to and always copies. I don’t care if they do either, I hate white walls and boring rooms. So go for it, use my ideas.  I’m a muse, it’s part of it.  And yes. Kristen’s room is a sexy room and I’m comfortable here.  Red light special is the most fitting song to enjoy my roasted and salted no shell pistachios while I share my thoughts with all of you.

I’m not sure where my thought are leading me tonight so you’re coming on my mental journey with me this evening.  I know I’m starting with my thinking about how I planned to go to Scores, but things never go as planned. Or maybe I could just be comfortable and looking for an excuse.

My flight to Myrtle is booked, I have enough money to eat and live and I’ve already arranged my travel.  I did my hair and nails so I could realistically just workout, tan and prep for Myrtle.  I’ll just take it one day at a time and see how the weekend unfolds.  We were going to Manhattan, that didn’t happen.  Who knows what will happen before I fly out Tuesday. Things never go as planned

Look at last weekend.  I planned to go home to visit Michigan so many times in the last year.  At least four attempts and never made it.  Last weekend I say, “Hey my birthday is on mothers day and it’s only a 4 hr drive” and just like that I went. It was the perfect vacation, that would never have happened had I planned it.  Spontaneous adventures are always the best.  Planned ones leave too much room for life to happen.  Life throws diversions.  Some good and some bad but if you don’t just do it, you may never do it.

I’m glad I did it.  My kids asked to stay with my mom.  That has never happened.  I’ve only left my kids with my ex husband’s family.  This is a first.  My dad had them one night and my ex’s mom picked them up the next day.  It feels meant to be.  This is the first time I’ve gone away to work, longer than one night and left my children, that I deep down inside don’t feel guilty.  I know my ex’s family loves the boys but it’s different for me to leave them with my family.  I can’t explain it but it’s different.

I get a phone call from a family member today.  She doesn’t read my blog and doesn’t follow my Facebook anymore cause I’m too sexy for her taste.  I understand and appreciate her concern, but my point is, she won’t know I’m breaking confidentiality because she doesn’t read this.  The only way she’ll know is if one of the other members of the family who do read this tells her.  BTW when I say confidentiality, here’s what I mean.  My family says this thing on the phone.  They say:

“don’t tell anyone I told you”

 The thing about that is

they say it to everyone.

10 times in one day, “don’t tell anyone I told you”

then you get another call from someone else and guess what?

They are telling you the same story, but their version goes.

” I’m not suppose to tell you this, so don’t tell anyone I told you”

That’s my family for you.  No one can keep a secret. I wish I could treat the gossip like telemarketers and put them all on a “do not call” list.   My phone would only work when there’s no gossip involved.  That would be perfect.

Today some of the gossip was important and I’d like my family to not take it personally and not sell me out. The unnamed person called me today and said that my mother’s doctor pulled her aside and said that my mom’s not doing well and her COPD is bad.  If she doesn’t take it seriously she could die. I’m not ready to loose my mom.  She’s so stubborn she’s running herself into an early death trying to please and do for everyone around her.  There’s plenty of capable people that need to pull together right now to make sure she shouldn’t lift a finger for anyone else’s benefit.  Instead you all are killing her.  I don’t want my children’s being there be the last memory they have of her.  I want it to be the first of many future vacations. So please instead of attacking the person who told me for telling me, direct your energy towards making a positive change.

Ok, changing the mood because that made me look for my wine glass.

It really is kismet having the kids stay with my family right now.  If things went as planned, I’d have a full time sitter and only traveling events.  Life happened and it is still part of the plan.  A big part of the plan and I found the perfect sitter for my boys.  She’s been so patient with me lately and I’m so thankful.  Financially though, this delay is a blessing.  One plane ticket is a lot cheaper than 4 and friends couches saves tons on hotel costs. Life is seriously hooking me up at the moment.  My gratitude is on overdrive.

That last vacation at my mothers was healing and so is this time with Kristen.  I’m sitting in her comfortable room in her uniquely decorated house.  I have the closet light on so I can see my clothes that I’ve hung the way I like it in my particular way.  Hanging my clothes was part of my me time today.

I love my clothes

I have lived rent and mortgage free for almost a year now.  I don’t have a home, but I have multiple lives spread around the states in suitcases.

Just thinking about it, I really do.  At my sister’s house in Deerfield Beach I have about 6 plastic totes full of clothes and things I picked up when I was there.  I was planning on moving back to south Florida and I aborted that mission when the RV idea came back into play.  Again another path not taken. Things didn’t go as planned

I have a storage unit outside of Daytona Beach.  Full of things I bought before I decided to go mobile.  I even add to it.  I fill up a suitcase with shopping and traveling.  Then I dump it in storage and start over with a new suitcase.  I just really love my clothes.  I have that in common with Kristen too.  For 20 years her and I always have stayed on point with keeping our personal styles.

Here at Kristen’s house I have a closet full of clothes.  I brought a small winter wardrobe.  Took myself birthday shopping because when you don’t have a man, you don’t get to go shopping 😦  I did go shopping though.  I needed it, I wanted it and I did it.

I have the same at Chelsea’s house.  I have a whole life in a suitcase.  I have stuff at my mom’s and my ex husband’s moms house too.  Maybe that’s why I can be so comfortable not having a home of record.  I have multiple homes with many back up lives that I can start living at any moment.

I’m blessed beyond belief and can achieve my dreams with the best support system possible. I like the comfort of my back up lives, but I want to keep moving until I know where I want to be.

Nothing ever goes as planned but everywhere you do go, take nothing but memories and pictures. Leave the drama behind and enter with a smile.

I’m getting sleepy and this playlist has lost my attention. I’m off to my dream world and my dream world is a really fun place to be.

Sweet dreams

🙂